


The Journal 《GMW Fanfiction》

by stormbornbxtch



Category: Girl Meets World, No Fandom
Genre: Contains Dark Themes and Mature Content (Triggers), F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 09:39:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16083458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormbornbxtch/pseuds/stormbornbxtch





	1. Chapter 1

Riley

"Again, Again, Again!" Margo cried and I inwardly groaned.

"Come on Margo, we've watched this episode of Mickey Mouse Club House at least thirteen times tonight. Don't you want to play a game or something" I said turning to face the four year old. 

"Can we play dress up?" She asked and I sighed. 

"Sure I guess, but I was thinking of a game like Uno or m-" she cit me off with a high pitched squeal. 

I cringed at the sound before nodding my head yes. 

"Sure, let's play dress up." I tell her and she smiles before grabbing my hand and yanking me off of the couch towards her bedroom. 

Oh boy....

♡♡♡

The sound of a front door opening sounded and I breathed a sigh of relief. Thank freaking god! I quickly take the fake pink hair extension out of my hair, take off the princess crown and slip out of Margo's tutu that was cutting off the circulation in my hips.

"I'll be right back kid" I told Margo and she nodded, not really taking her eyes off of the Barbie dolls in front of her. I got up and raced back down stairs, where Maya and Michael, the older siblings of Margo, stood. 

"Oh, I thought you guys were your parents" I said. 

"Gross" Maya proclaimed as she made her way upstairs. 

"Why exactly would our parents be home seven hours early?" Michael questioned. 

"Uh, I dunno" I told them and he rolled his eyes before plopping down on the couch. You know, for someone who has a million girls falling at his feet he sure is a jerk. 

Maya walked past me without even a second glance, well isn't she sweet. 

"Why are you still here weird emo girl?" Michael asked, not even bothering to look away from the TV.

"Weird emo girl? That's the best you got, my six year old brother has done better than that" I told him and he turned around to send me a glare which I happily returned. 

A piercing scream sounded from upstairs interrupting my stare down with Michael. 

Oh my god!

"Margo" I whispered to myself before racing back up the steps towards Margo's room. 

I bursted through the door only to see her playing happily with her dolls as if nothing had just happened. She didn't even notice my presence. 

Then what the heck was that? I quietly closed the door behind me and made my way to Maya's room, the only other person up here. 

"Hey, is everything alright?" I ask but she ignores me and continues looking around her room frantically. 

"Maya are you okay?" I ask again. She didn't answer, just shook her bag off and began dumping it's contents on her bed. 

"May-" 

"Did you steal it?" she cut me off and I looked at her Maya in confusion. 

"Steal what?" I asked. 

"Oh, no, no, no, this is not happening! How could this have happened?" She exclaimed as she went on to rummage through her now destroyed room. 

"We have to find it! Like now!" she screamed and I rolled my eyes. 

"Whatever, I have to go. Tell your mom that Margo was great tonight" I tell her as I turn to leave her room. 

"Wait, if you don't help me find this. I-I'll tell the whole school about your crush on Farkle Minkus" I stop dead in my tracks and spin on my heel to see her. 

"H-How did you know about that?" I stuttered out. 

"Doesn't matter. The only thing that does is you helping me find it before school tomorrow." she announced and I scoffed. 

"Why is this thing so important to you anyway?" I asked her. 

"It. doesn't. matter. All that matters is that we're going to find it, tonight. You in?" she said. 

"I don't really have a choice now do I?" I told her and she smirked. 

"Good" she said, clearly satisfied with her manipulation.

"Shouldn't I know what we're looking for first if this is going to work" I questioned and she sighed. 

"My Journal" she told me. 

You have got to be kidding me?

"This whole thing is over some stupid Journal!" I exclaimed and she looked at me as if I had just murdered her dog. 

"It's not some stupid journal" she cried out. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. 

"Fine, what does it look like?" I ask. 

"It's black and it has paint splatters on it" she tells and I nod. 

"Got it, so since you already checked your room. Is there some other place we can look?" I ask her and she nods. 

"Yeah, we just need a ride" she tells me. 

"Well can't your brother just take us." I question and she shakes her head. 

"Not if we want to bring Margo with us. He's going to have to stay here and watch it and plus he wouldn't dare use his 'precious baby' to take the two of us around the city in search of my book. We need someone who has a car and is willing to drive us around all night" she tells me and I nod. 

I thought about it for a second. My mom was working late at the court house tonight, my dad was tutoring Dave tonight and Auggie was younger than me so that wouldn't work. 

Oh, I know!

"I could call my uncle, his place isn't too far from here and I'm pretty sure he'd be willing to help" I tell her. She looks at me, probably wondering if she could trust me or not. 

I scoffed, I should be asking myself the same thing. 

"Fine, as long as he's not a creep he can drive us" she declares. I resist the urge to roll my eyes at her dramatic tone as I reach for my phone and dial Josh's number. 

Please pick up, I can not spend the night with Maya Hart riding the subway.


	2. Girls Meets The Van, Tutors and Josh

Riley

"No, absolutely not!" Michael exclaimed after Maya asked him to watch Margo for the rest of the night. 

"Come on, Michael please" she whined and he rolled his eyes. 

"Begging doesn't work on me, I'm not going to deal with that little monster for the next several hours" he told her. 

She quickly unpouted (AN: Pretty sure that's not a word but whatevs) and stood up straight. 

"Fine then, I didn't want to have to do this but you've left me no choice" she told him as she whipped out her phone from her purse and Michael looked at her in confusion. 

"What are you doing?" I asked but she ignored me. 

"I will tell mom and dad about how you've been sneaking out every night to go hook up with Mindy McAllister by the lake" she told him and he scoffed. 

"You have no proof!" he exclaimed and she smirked. 

"That's where your wrong brother" she said unlocking her phone and scrolling though it until she found what she was looking for. She smiled to herself before turning her phone around and showing him something I couldn't see. 

"H-How did you get that?" he said his demeanor quickly changing from cocky to intimidated. 

"Doesn't matter" she told him as she stuffed her phone back in her bag. 

"All that matters is that you're going to watch Margo tonight" she announced. 

He glared at her before nodding reluctantly. 

She smiled in satisfaction before making her way over to me and walking out the door past me. I looked at Michael and laughed at his expression. His glare trained on me which only made me laugh louder before following Maya outside. 

Maya Hart sure was something!

"Where's the car?" she asked as she looked around the curb for it. 

"Uh, Josh said he'd be here any min-" I was interrupted by the sight of my uncle's van pulling up in front of The Hart Resident. 

"Or right now" I told her as I made my way down the porch steps. After a couple of steps I realized that Maya wasn't following. 

I sighed before turning around. 

"Is there something wrong your highness?" I asked and she stared at the vehicle in disgust. 

"That's your friends's car?" she questioned, not bothering to hide repulsion in her tone and face. 

"Well, technically it's my Uncles's car and it's the only car we got so I wouldn't look so horrified" I said before rolling my eyes before turning back towards the car. 

"Fine, but I swear if your Uncle is some creepy bald gu-" she was interrupted by the sound of the side door sliding open. 

 

"Sup Kiddies, hurry up we've got to go. I only got the van for tonight and I happen to have a date at eight and this girl is really hot so I'm begging you not to make me miss it" Josh proclaimed and I laughed. 

I looked over at Maya who was staring at Josh as if he were some kind of god or something. 

"T-That's you Uncle" she stuttered out, not taking her eyes off  him as she spoke. 

"Yeah and he's way too old for you" I told her. 

"We'll see about that" she muttered and I shuttered. The thought of Maya and Josh together made me want to hurl. 

"Whatever" I told her as I made my way to the Van. 

"I call shotgun" Maya yelled as she ran ahead of me. 

"Whoa, Riley! Whose your friend?" Josh asked as I got in the Van, shutting the door behind as Maya climbed in the front and Josh sat back in the drivers' seat. 

"Way to young for you, now can we please go" I told him as I sat down on the floor of his van. You see the back of Josh's car didn't exactly have seat belts. It had an orange carpet from the 70s, three bean bag chairs. Posters of bands I had never heard of and those weird strings of beads hanging separating the driver and passenger seat from the rest of the van. 

"My name's Maya" I rolled my eyes at her flirty tone. 

"Hi Maya, I'm Isadora" I jumped at the sound of another feminine voice and looked around to see a petite brunette with glasses seated in the bean bag chair in the far corner if the van. 

"Holy shit! Josh who's this?" I asked staring at the stranger while she smiled at me. 

 

"Oh that's Smackle, she's my tutor" the girl frowned at Josh. 

"Please don't call me Smackle, I prefer Isadora or Iz or Izzy or even Dora but please not Smackle. I loathe that name with a passion" she told us and I nodded. 

"Sure, so why exactly is she here" I asked as I moved the beads out of my way so I could look at Josh. I saw Maya staring at him dreamily and the urge to throw up returned. God, didn't she have a boyfriend already?

"Well I was supposed to drop her off after our session but then you called me and it sounded like an emergency so I rushed over here. Sma-I mean Isadora was fine with it! Her parents are out of town anyway" Josh told me and I nodded. 

"Okay cool but I've got another question, how is she your tutor? She's like my age?" I asked and he sighed but before he could explain it Isadora interrupted him. 

"I'm a gifted child and I finished high school when I was ten and now I attend NYU with Joshua, I'm getting my Master's degree in Physics and since I'm highly intelligent and since he's my friend I offered to tutor him" she told us. 

"Oh, wow!" I said staring at the her. 

"Yep, but you know friends don't make you pay ten bucks an hour for tutoring" Josh told her and she rolled her eyes. 

"Oh whatever, you're lucky most of the college tutors want double so stop complaining Joshua" Isadora told him and he held his hands up in surrender as I laughed. Maya was too preoccupied in Josh land to know what we were talking about. I didn't even want to think about the stuff that was running through her mind right now. 

"Joshua?" I whispered once I caught onto what she had called him. He shrugged before plugging the keys into the ignition. 

"So where to favorite niece" Josh asked and I shrugged. 

"Maya" I said looking at the blonde who was in some kind of trance. 

I rolled my eyes in annoyance before snapping my fingers, snapping her out of her daze. 

"Oh, uh Lucas's house" she told us. 

"And where exactly is your BOYFRIEND'S house" I said. 

She glared at me before giving Josh the directions. I sat back in one of the chairs by Izzy. 

There was no way in hell I was letting Maya Hart become my aunt!


	3. Girl Meets Parties, Lost Friends, Flash Flirting and Bathtub crushes.

Riley

The ride to Lucas's house took us an hour and a half. Between Maya's shameless flirting and Izzy's endless questions about what it was like to be an 'average american teenager' made it seem like an fucking eternity. 

Okay so we originally had eight hours to find the journal and now we only have six and a half. That's more than enough time right?

"We're here" Josh announced. 

Isadora quickly shut up and stared in awe out of the window behind me. I looked at her in confusion before following her actions. 

Holy Shit!

I knew Lucas was rich but not this fucking rich. I stared at the gigantic mansion in front of me in amazement. I had heard stories about this place but never believed them until now. 

"Welcome to Gold Coast Mansions kids" Josh announced as he parked on the curb in front of Lucas's palace. 

"Come on!" Maya called, completely unfazed by it as she hopped out of the van. 

"Can I come?" Iz asked. 

I turned around to tell her no but froze as I saw the hope in her Bambi like eyes. She had never been to a party huh? Or at least never had the opportunity to ignore the invite to one.

I sighed before nodding a yes.

"Stay near me okay!" I told her and she nodded before helping me open the sliding door. 

"I'm coming too, this place looks awesome" I looked at my uncle and rolled my eyes. 

"Whatever" I sighed before hopping out of the car followed by Isadora. She closed the door behind us and I looked up to see Maya halfway up the staircase that lead to the front door of Friar's house. 

I rolled my eyes, that girl had zero freaking patience whatsoever. 

"Don't want to leave the little lady waiting now do we" Josh said from beside me as he began to follow Maya up the stairs. 

"This book is going to be harder to find than I thought huh?" I asked Iz and she nodded in agreement. 

♡♡♡

I had officially lost my uncle and Maya in less than five minutes of being in the house. The only reason Isadora hadn't gone missing was because she refused to let go of my hand. 

The smell of underage drinking and teenage hormones was overwhelming as I walked through the party. 

Antidote by Travis Scott played loudly throughout Lucas's mansion and I honestly wanted to shoot myself. 

"Ladies" a loud voice echoed from behind us. 

Together me and Iz turned to face the one and only Zay Babineaux. 

 

"What do you want?" I asked, my voice coming off harsher than intended.

"Chill Riles, I'm just wondering what brings you here. I mean the Riley Matthews I know wouldn't be caught dead at a party" Zay said, curiousness evident in his voice. 

"Not that it's any of your business but we came here with a friend" I told him and Zay rolled his eyes. 

"Bullshit, Emma and Jordan have been here for hours and you just showed up Matthews" Zay informed me.

"So what, Emma and Jordan aren't my only friends" I defended. 

"Obviously, who's this" Zay asked, his gaze turning to Izzy. She let go of my hand and back further behind me.

"Someone who's not interested" I told him and he sighed. 

"Yeah I hope not" we all turned around at the sound of another female voice. 

I smiled at the sight of Zay's long time girlfriend, Sage Clarke. 

 

"Hey babe" Zay said now smiling as he attempted to wrap his arm around her. She quickly moved to the side and look him up and down.

"Mmhmm, how about you leave these poor girls alone 'babe'" Sage told him and he sighed.

"Yes Sage" he said before walking away with his head hung low in shame. I chuckled as he walked as Sage turned to us. 

"Sorry about him, he get's a little, well not himself when he's drunk (a/n: eat a snickers zay)" she told us and I nodded feeling more relaxed. 

"Thanks Sage, I owe you one" I told her and she shook her head. 

"No problem, I should go after him. Make sure he doesn't get into a fight or something" she told us and I nodded before she walked away. 

"So Isadora maybe we shoul-" I started only to stop when I realized she wasn't by my side anymore. Great! 

I sighed before slowly making my way through the crowd, pushing past the drunken teenagers. 

My eyes landed on her familiar raven colored hair and I grabbed her shoulder. 

"Izzy you can't just run off like th-" I froze, crap wrong girl!

"Sorry" I apologized and she rolled her eyes before going back to her drink and boy toy. Rude much? 

My eyes scanned over the crowd and I could not spot one person I came in here with.

I looked and looked for a familiar face and I sighed, my eyes scanned the room and the familiar feeling of comfort flooded over me at the sight of my best friend, Jordan Hunter. 

 

She was talking to Charlie, flirting up a storm and I ignored the bile that had crept up my throat. Don't get me wrong, Charlie was a great guy and all but Jordan's flirting was cringe-worthy. After I helped her I would go find Isadora and then Josh and Maya and then that stupid freaking diary. 

I quickly made my way over there and threw my arm around her. 

"Hey Jordan, what's up?" I asked and she breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Nothing much, uh Charlie this is my best friend Riley and this is Charlie my uh....Charlie" she said unsure and Charlie smirked at her as she smiled nervously. 

"Sup Charlie, so uh what are you guys talking about" I asked him. 

"Uh, we weren't really talking about anything actually" he told me and I nodded. Awkward silence surrounded the three of us and Jordan looked at me in a pleading manner. 

"So uh, do you watch The Flash?" I asked. 

"Yeah, I love that show" he told me and I smiled. 

Bingo! 

"Really? It's my favorite" Jordan told him and he smiled. 

"I gotta use the bathroom, see ya guys later" I said but they both ignored me, already engrossed in a conversation about the experiment Barry was involved in that granted him his speed. I think I might've just landed my best friend a potential boyfriend. Any boy who loved The Flash as much as she did was a keeper. 

I felt like dancing in victory but I resisted that urge and made my way upstairs in search of Iz. 

I called out her name in hopes she hear me over that horrible music. 

I pushed open the first door and gasped. Like legit gasped before slamming the door shut behind me. 

If you're gonna do it at least do it with the the door locked. I shivered at the images and continued to push open doors left and right, knocking into a few people as I moved but I stopped caring a long time. 

I pushed open the second to last door and froze. 

There sitting in a bathtub doodling something on the wall beside him was the boy I had had a crush on since I was six years old. 

Farkle Minkus. 

Shit....


	4. Girl Meets Deep Convos, Almost Kisses and Drunk Friends

Farkle

"Have fun, I'll see you later Minkus" Lucas said that to me over two hours ago. Sure the guy was one of my best friends but I don't think he understood how much I hated parties.Being left alone at one didn't make things any better, after that my anxiety started to kick in and I had to get out of there. So I did the only reasonable thing a boy in my situation could do. 

I hid in the bathroom. 

"Oh sorry, my bad I-uh-I d-didn't know t-that anyone was i-in here" I looked up from my marker towards a girl who stood in the doorway. 

"No it's fine, I-uh-I wasn't doing anything so.." I said trailing off. 

"Oh okay, umm I'll see you around" she said before moving to close the door. She stopped herself halfway, and looked back at me.

 "If you don't mind me asking, why are you doodling in a bathtub" she questioned and I looked down. 

Yeah, I guess this didn't look normal huh?

"Well, my phone died twenty minutes ago and I don't really like parties that much. So I found a marker and started doodling I guess" I told her. 

"Oh okay" she said before going to close the door but stopping herself. 

"I didn't really expect you to not like parties" she told me and I could feel my face contort into a confused face. 

"What do you mean?" I asked and she shrugged before slowly making her way into the bathroom and closing the door behind her. 

"Well, you're always at them. I mean, I don't usually come to these things but my friends tell me everything that happens so" she said looking down at her fingers. Her cheeks turned a bright red and I couldn't help but smile at her shyness. 

"Uh, my best friend Lucas is kind of known for his parties and I guess........it's just kind of expected for me to show up y'know" I told her and she nodded. 

"Why come? I mean I get he's your best friend but my best friends would never force me to do something I didn't want to do" she asked. 

I tried to look for the right words to answer that question but I couldn't really think of any so I did the only thing I could do. 

"Why're you here?" I asked and she looked up at me, surprise evident in her eyes. 

"What do you mean?" she asked and I chuckled. 

"I mean you just said you don't come to these things. What's your excuse?" I questioned. 

She laughed as her gaze turned back to the ground. 

"You don't mind if I join you, that tub looks big enough for two" she asked and I shook my head before crossing my legs to give her a bit more room. 

She thanked me before climbing and bring her knees to her chest. 

"Well, you know Maya?" she asked and I nodded. 

"Well she's got this journal that she might've left here earlier so she's blackmailing me to come help her find it" she told me and I shook my head, not very surprised. 

"What is she blackmailing you with?" I asked and her head shot up to look me in the eyes. They held fear and secrets. 

She didn't want me to know I guess. 

She didn't move and neither did I. My eyes stayed trained on her umber colored ones. They seemed to sparkle under the translucent light above us. Her hair was pushed to the side and I caught sight of the purple streak amongst the brown strands. 

She was beautiful. 

I hadn't even realized I was leaning in until her face was mere inches away from mine. Her minty breath brushed against my face and my hand moved up to cup her face. 

Our lips barely touched before the bathroom door swung open and we quickly pulled away.

"Uh, sorry" I looked up and my eyes landed on a familiar blonde. 

"What is it Maya?" the brown haired girl hissed. 

"Jeesh, I didn't mean to bust your little bubble Riley, but Izzy's dancing on Lucas's table and I think she's drunk" the brunette's eyes widened and I looked at them both in confusion. 

"I'm so sorry but I have to go" Riley said and I nodded in understanding. 

"I'll come with" I told her and she smiled at me before climbing out of the tub followed by me. 

Now I just had one question. 

Who the fuck was Izzy?

♡♡♡

Maya

I trailed behind Riley as we made our way into the dining room were Izzy stood on the table wriggling her hips. 

"Woo hoo" she cried and the rest of the crowd cheered. 

Her glasses were crooked and her shirt was up revealing her stomach.

"Whose ready to party y'all" she slurred with was followed by numerous cheers from the crowd. I smirked at her, didn't think she had it in her.

"Who's that?" I turned around to see Lucas staring up at Izzy with the biggest smirk on his face.   

"No one, now get her down before she hurts herself" I told him and he rolled his eyes before pushing through the crowd and climbing on to the table. 

I watched as the two interacted. Lucas seemed to be trying to coax her but she wasn't listening. He gently grabbed her and pulled him towards her, I'm guessing in an attempt to pull her off and the next thing I know, her lips our pressed upon his. 

I froze as I watched the two kiss. And Lucas wasn't pulling away! He wasn't even making an effort to. 

I wanna say that I felt like crying in that moment but I'd be lying. I knew what Lucas and I had wasn't emotional, it was business. A way for us to stay on top of the food chain. 

And now, it was over.


	5. Blacked Out and Fire

Smackle

Oh no! What did I just do! It's like I had no control over my actions. 

"Oopsie Dazie!" I slurred as I pushed myself away from Maya's boyfriend. 

My mind was hazy and Lucas's face was blurry. (Blurry Face anyone?)

"Shit" was the last thing I heard before my world went dark. 

♡♡♡

Riley

"Oh my god, oh my god!" My hands flew instinctively up to my face as Izzy fainted in Lucas's arms. 

I shook myself out of my state of shock before pushing though the crowd. They're cheers inly inceased as Lucas's lifted her on his shoulders and carefully stepped down from the table. 

I followed behind as he lead her outside and placed her unconscious body on the steps. 

"Who the hell is this girl?" he whispered, more to himself than to anyone else. 

"Isadora Smackle, she doesn't go to our school. Probably why you havent slept with her yet" Maya's voice sounded from behind me and I jumped. 

Lucas's gaze moved from the raven-haired girl to his girlfriend. 

"Maya loo-" he started only to be cut off by the blonde. 

"We need to talk" she told him, her tone was harsh, cold and unforgiving. 

I sighed, my eyes never leaving the limp girl who laid in the steps of Lucas's "house." 

God, how much did she drink?

"Riley, are you okay?" I nodded before turning around to face Farkle. 

"Yeah, I-uh-I'm good. But Izzy, well not really" I said gesturing to her body. 

"Oh my god! I-Is s-she d-dead" he choked out and I shook my head. 

"No, wait-oh my god! What if she has alcohol poisoning! What if she's dying right no-" I babbled, my thoughts racing a mile a minute. 

"No, she's fine." I whipped my head around to see Josh leaning over Izzy. 

"She's probably never gotten drunk before. I'm guessing her body couldn't handle the amount of alcohol she consumed. She'll be fine but I gotta get her home Riley! I can drop you guys off at the house but I don't think it'd be the best idea if we keep driving around all night. Smackle's pretty hammered so..." he trailed off and I sighed, nodding in agreement. 

I couldn't go home! Farkle and I just sorta had a thing and if he found out that I liked him then that would freak him out and he would never talk to me again. Stupid Maya! Stupid fucking Journal!

Where the hell is that she-devil anyway?

♡♡♡

Lucas

"Wait, what?" 

"I think we should break up. You just humiliated me in front of the whole school huckleberry! And you expect me to stay with you after that?" she questioned. 

"She kissed me!" I exclaimed. 

"Yeah but you kissed back! You didn't pull away, she did! You didn't stop it, she did!" Maya screamed and I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose in annoyance.

"I was shocked okay, I mean how would you react to some random drunk person kissing you!" 

"That doesn't matter Lucas. The point is that you let her kiss you! You know I was fine with the cheating when no one knew but now the whole school does and that is not o-" 

"I never cheated on you Maya! Why do you always insinuate that. I would never hurt you that way and I keep trying to tell you but you never believe me! Never! You just won't fucking listen to me! Not once did I ever do that to you! And the fact that you think I could stoop so low makes me wonder why we were together in the first place" I told her. 

Fuck, what did I jus say?

Maya didn't say anything. Her gaze fell to her feet as she avoided eye contact with me. 

"Well, if you think that then we shouldn't be together than that just proves my point" she exclaimed before turning around. 

"Maya wait" I said as I grabbed her arm only to have her rip it away from me harshly. 

"WE'RE FIRE LUCAS! WE'RE NOT GOOD FOR EACH OTHER AND YOU KNOW IT!" she screamed and my eyes widened. 

"That's not true." I whispered, my voice coming off weaker than intended. 

"OH REALLY! THE CONSTANT ARGUING! THE JEALOUSY! THE FUCKING WHOLE IN YOUR WALL" she yelled. 

I flinched at the memory....

I was tired. 

It had been a couple hours since the game. Maya was screaming at me, nothing new I guess. 

But this time, I had no fucking idea to why we were fighting. 

"Maya, can you please just drop it" I pleaded. 

"NO! I CAN'T ! JUST ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION LUCAS!" she screamed and I sighed. 

Truthfully, I had no idea what she was talking about. 

"I don't even know what the hell is going on" I told her and she rolled her eyes.

 I could feel the anger radiating off of her and I honestly didn't want to hear this. 

"YOU NEVER FUCKING LISTEN TO ME ANYMORE!" 

"Maya please stop"  

"NO, ANSWER MY FUCKING QUESTION" she yelled. 

Annoyance and anger were building inside me. 

"MAYA JUST DROP IT" I yelled. 

"NO" she screamed. 

"DROP IT" I screamed standing now. 

"NO" 

Our yells mixed into one. My  pleas and her anger echoed throughout my empty home.  It was too much and she had pushed me to far. 

I snapped. 

 

Maya's voice was silenced. I looked down to see her my arm pushed against her body and the realization of what I had done hit me like a truck as I pulled my hand out of the wall.

 

"Lucas" Maya breathed.

The tears came next. 

Hers and mine.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" I sobbed out, backing away from her. Afraid to come close. 

"I should go" her voice was fearful but also filled with one thing I thought I would never hear from her. 

Regret...

We didn't talked for weeks after that. 

People thought we had broken up...

So did we....

But somehow we didn't, we were never the same afterwards. 

We barely talked unless it was at school. 

We became more of a status symbol to each other than an actual couple. 

"Th-that was an accident" I told her. My eyes were burning but tears we're already flowing from hers.

"I know" she whispered. 

We stayed silent and unmoving after that. Almost as if we were both trapped.

"We're fire Lucas. And in the beginning that was a good thing but now our fire is no longer warm and comforting. It's dangerous and explosive. Let's stop this before we do something we regret" she told me and I nodded. 

I watch as she turned and walked away. The tears came rushing down once she was gone. 

It was too late for that...


	6. Rides and Daydreams

Riley

 

"Where's Josh?" Maya asked and I shrugged. 

"He's uh, he went home with Smackle" I told her and she froze in shock. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Maya exclaimed and I rolled my eyes at her dramatics. 

"First she tries to steal my boyfriend and then she runs off with your hot uncle, this is so not fair" Maya whined and I sighed. 

"If you guys need a ride, I could always help out with that" I turned around and smiled at Farkle. 

"Really" I asked and he shrugged. 

"Yeah, I don't really have anything better to do, plus as you can tell this party thing isn't really my style so.."I instinctively I wrapped my arms around him.

"Thank you, thank you so much!" I exclaimed and he laughed before slowly wrapping his arms around me. 

Oh my god! We're hugging, Farkle Minkus and I are hugging! Holy shit!

He smelled like pine trees, I like pine trees. 

"Alrighty then, let's get this show on the road  love birds" Maya said interrupting our hug and I quickly pulled away. 

I looked down at my shoes and waited for him to follow behind Maya. 

How did she even know where his car was in the first place? 

"Uh Maya, my car's over there" Farkle called out and my head shot up at the sound of his voice. 

My eyes traveled to Maya who had froze in her spot. 

"Yeah, whatever" she called out before turning around and heading towards the direction Farkle pointed in. 

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips. 

Oh maya!

♡♡♡

Josh

"Maya hatess mee" Smackle slurred and I sighed. 

She had been going on and on about how sorry she was for the past fifteen minutes and at the point I felt like jumping out of the car. 

"It wasn't your fault okay. You're drunk" I tried to assure her but she shook her head. 

"No I'm a terrible person, I deserrvee to feeelll liikkkee thiisss" she groaned and I rolled my eyes. 

"Smackle" I started only to be cut off by the van hitting a speed bump and the faint sound of her voice murmuring a tiny uh-oh. 

Oh shit!

"Smackle not in the van! NOT IN THE VAN!"

♡♡♡ 

 

Lucas

"So she dumped you? Just like that" Zay questioned and I nodded. 

Shortly after Maya left I had cleared the whole party out. I wasn't in the mood to celebrate the game anyway. 

"Poor baby" Sage whimpered as she wrapped her arms around me in a motherly way. 

"Sage, I'm not feeling good, maybe you should hug me too" Zay asked and I laughed. 

"Yeah whatever" Sage said as she pulled away from me. 

"Hey, he already got a kiss I want one too" Sage glared at him and he quickly shut up. 

"I got a kiss from drunk girl who I have never seen in y entire life and that's exactly why I got dumped" I told him and he rolled his eyes. 

"You didn't seem to be complaining so- OW" Zay exclaimed when Sage hit him. 

I laughed, he was right. 

Why didn't I pull away? God, why didn't I pull away? 

I already knew the answer to that and I hated to admit it to myself. 

Because I liked it, a lot.

♡♡♡

"So where exactly am I going?" Farkle asked and I shrugged before turning around to face Maya in the backseat. 

"The mall" she stated simply, her eyes never leaving her phone.

"Well okay then" Farkle said as he started the engine. 

Music played softly in the background and it was a nice transition from Josh's non air conditioned Van that had a broken radio. 

The familiar sound of one of my favorites songs sounded and I smiled. 

"Hey can I-uh-can I turn it up please?" I asked and he nodded, gesturing me to go for it. 

(Play song now)

Gonna be you

And me

My gaze shifted from the radio and to Farkle. God he was beautiful.

Gonna be everything you

You've ever dreamed

I couldn't help but slip away, my thought and my mind were gone. It was just me and the it happened. 

My imagination was set free and I let the music take me to a different universe. 

I was in a room, a beautiful pristine white room. 

My gaze was fixated on the smooth wall in front of me. 

I could see my reflection and then something moved behind me. I quickly spun around and froze when my eyes landed on Farkle. 

He was right in front of me and I mean right in front of me. 

I could feel his warmth radiate from his body and his blue green almost gray eyes were fixated on mine. 

Normally I would've been freaked out but for some reason I wasn't. 

He wore black and I wore white. 

Matching the room for some reason. 

His hand reached up to caress my cheek and I melted into his touch. The music was still loud and clear but it didn't matter. The only think that mattered in that moment was him and me. 

I watched as he leaned in, to the point where are foreheads were touching. 

I could hear his breathing now. He oozed calmness and it was comforting. 

His fingers moved to slowly stroke my lips and then to bring my chin up to meet his. 

My eyes fluttered open and I froze. 

I could see every feature he had on his face. 

I could see the curves of his nose and the way strands of his hair were longer than others. 

I could see the way his eyes studied me just as much as mine studied him.

His cool  breath hit my nose and he smelled like mints for some reason. 

I could see the way his eyebrows creased and the way his eyes lashes were placed. I could even see the way some were stuck together.

And then his lips, his beautiful peach colored lips and that were calling my name. 

I could see the way he leaned in and pretty soon my eyes were closing in as I moved to reach him and just before our lips could touch. 

"We're here" I snapped out of my daydream and my eyes shot open. 

A different song was playing now and I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks when reality finally hit me. 

I sighed before unbuckling my seat belt and following the pair out of the car and into the mall.


	7. Victoria's Secret and Break Downs

"I hate this place" I whispered more to myself than to anyone else as we walked through the double doors of the mall entrance. 

Farkle didn't hear me and Maya was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to notice what I had said.

"Okay so where do we start?" Farkle asked, turning his gaze towards me. 

I looked past him and gestured to Maya. 

"Victoria's Secret, I went in there earlier with Missy and Sage" she said already ten steps ahead of us. 

I could feel myself blush at the thought of the lingerie store. The thing is I had never been there. My mom worked at save a lot and my dad taught adults how to read at the local community center. They weren't exactly Bill and Melinda Gates. I got most of my underwear from Wal-Mart. 

I walked slowly behind the two as we made our way to the store. My mind raced a mile a minute as we entered the store. I had never really been in here, I got most of my underwear stuff from Wal-Mart, this place was way too expensive for my liking. Way too expensive and pink, I forgot to mention how pink this place was. 

"If its anywhere it would be in the changing rooms, Riley can you check by the clothes and Farkle since you're here can you go ask the lady at the front desk" Maya told us and I nodded as I made my way to the underwear section. 

"This place freaks me out" I turned to the side to Farkle and nodded in agreement. 

"Its so intimidating and I just, I can't sometimes" I told him and he rolled his eyes. 

"Come on, you're a girl and this place intimidates you?" He asked and I nodded frantically. 

"Yeah, I mean have you seen the prices on some of this stuff. For what, some thin layers of fabric? Plus every girl who comes here are also the kinds of girls who only drink Starbucks and always manage to have boyfriends. This place creeps me out to my core and its even worse because I'm a girl. Victoria Secret models all look like they work out twenty hours a day and then drink green health drink the other four. I mean, come on I'm supposed to live up to those unrealistic expectations of beauty" I ranted and Farkle laughed next to me. 

"Never really thought of it like that" he told me and I nodded. 

I watched as he stopped at the register and I continued to make my way to the incredibly lacy underwear section. 

I rolled my eyes at the push up bra section and continued to look around. I mean this place had some pretty cute stuff but the moment I picked it up and looked at the price tag I had a mini heart attack. 

Who in their right mind pays twenty five bucks for one stinking bra? 

I sighed and continued to look for her journal. And you know what I found? 

Absolutely nothing, nothing whatsoever. 

"The lady said that she didn't find anything when they were cleaning up earlier" Farkle's voice rang out next to me and I nodded. 

"I'm gonna go get Maya" I told him and he nodded before I made my way off in the direction she headed. 

"Maya, we couldn't find any-" 

The sound of sniffling stopped me dead in my tracks. 

"Maya, are you okay?" I asked, heading in the direction of the sound. 

I pushed the middle stall open to see Maya sitting down crying her eyes out. 

"Maya, what's wrong?" 

"Its gone, there's no use in looking for it anymore. My whole life was in that journal, my music was in that journal, my poems, my photos. God, its all gone and there's no replacing it or fixing it, it's just gone! I don't know what I'm going to do Riley. And now I look fucking pathetic because my entire world just shattered before me. My boyfriend is not my boyfriend anymore and its not even because of the kiss. We've just been drifting apart for the longest time and it took the tiniest thing too break us apart. And now the only thing that's held me down to the ground, the one thing that I've always had through all the bullshit in my life is gone and I don't know how to handle all of this. All o my dreams, hopes, fears, art, thoughts and secrets were in the book and there's no hope in trying to find it! A-And-" her voice broke and she continued to cry. 

"Maya, I-I had no idea how important this was to you" I told her, cautiously taking a few steps towards the weeping blonde and sitting beside her. 

"No one did, it was the one thing that I owned that was really mine and not just some stupid façade I created for myself" she sobbed out. 

I sighed before wrapping my arms around her and letting her lean down to cry on my shoulder. 

"Maya, you're journal is just a material object. It's not you. Everything that it held is still apart of you" I told her rubbing her shoulder in a comforting matter. 

Damn, I sounded wise as fuck right now. 

"I know, I know it's just. I liked the idea of having it for the rest of my life. An emblem of my own creation that represents me now, for who I am today. And that's something I can't get back" she told me, her cries now silenced to silent tears that flowed down her cheeks. 

"Don't worry, we'll find it, there's still time left" I assured her and she nodded. 

After Maya had cleaned herself up we left the mall. There was nothing left here for us to check. 

"So where to next?" Farkle asked from beside me and I shrugged. 

"Uh, the coffee shop on 42nd and Maple" she told him and he nodded before starting the engine and taking off once again. 

We had to find that journal, for Maya's sake.


	8. Rosa's and Poetry

Josh

"Thanks for the coffee, I-uh, I feel a lot better now" Izzy told me, clutching onto her mug for dear life. 

We were at Rosa's. I have been going here since I was a freshmen, it was comforting and it made me feel at home. A nice get away from the pressures of being an actual adult., I'm still getting used to it. 

Being called an adult makes me feel like I'm supposed to be buying a house and settling down in the suburbs or something.

 I'm nineteen and barely a sophomore. 

"How did you know this would work?" she asked, interrupting my train of thought. 

"I didn't, during my first few weeks at NYU I didn't exactly take it easy on the alcohol. I figured if it worked for me it could work for you."

She nodded, looking around the dimly lit coffee shop. 

"This place is nice, it kind of reminds me of Topanga's but a little more......sophisticated y'know. I mean there's even a stage, is that for like karaoke?" she asked and I shook my head.

"Uh, not really. I mean its mainly for poetry reads but every once in awhile Mike breaks out the old karaoke machine it's usually for like, parties and stuff" I told her. 

"Have you ever read anything up there?" she asked. I shook my head no, maybe a little too quickly for my liking but I didn't think she noticed. 

Its not like I never thought about doing it. But poetry is kind of personal and I'm not sure I want to share it with anyone, publicly at least. 

"Hey, I'll be right back okay" I said, standing up from my seat. Izzy didn't even look at me as she  took her phone out of her pocket. 

Kids these days and their technology.

I made my way over to the bar where my friend K.C. worked. 

"Wassup Josh." I smiled as I took a seat in front of the hazel eyed beauty. 

I had met K.C. three years ago after my first party on campus. Despite the tattoos and resting bitch face, she was one of the coolest people I've ever met. 

"Nothing much, you?" I asked and she shrugged picking up a rag and beginning to wipe down the counter beside me. 

"Same old same old, who's your new friend? She looks a bit young don't you think" she said gesturing over to where Izzy sat. 

"No, no, no, it's nothing like that I promise. She's my tutor" I told her and her expression twisted into one of confusion. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah, she's one of those kid geniuses, she goes to MIT and luckily her parents our friends of my brothers and now she's my calculus tutor" I explained and K.C. nodded in understanding. 

Before either one of us could speak, a voice sounded from the stage. I turned around fully to see Big Mike, the owner of this fine establishment. He opened it after his wife, who had a undeniable  love for coffee and poetry, passed away. 

"Hey everybody, look I don't want to take up too much of your time but we found this journal in the back, if anyone wants to come and claim it, now's the time." 

No one moved and Mike sighed. 

"Well I'll read something from it, if you guys recognize anything than by all means, come and get it" 

For some reason I couldn't help the curiosity and I listened. 

"Dear star boy, 

I once had the notion that we were everlasting 

As endless as the seams of time and space that so beautifully bounded galaxies together

I hoped we would outlive the universe

But my hope was wrongfully put,

 it's as if the fates were looking to play a cruel joke

for some reason they chose us

Tearing our hearts apart as if they were nothing but whimsy pieces of paper 

We were never meant to fall as hard as we did

to embrace each other so strongly

to love so intently

so powerfully,

so much that we'd transcend the fabrics of our reality and many others 

we were never meant to blossom into a star let alone an entire solar system

never meant to let it grow as widely as it did

so much that it not only consumed ourselves but the stars above as well

our loved was almost timeless

almost......

and before we could comprehend it black holes formed

sucking up the worlds we created 

the impact we left would not change the cosmos

it wouldn't even impact the fate of the smallest speck

but it did change us

whether for the better 

or for the worse

that is yet to be decided

until the next lifetime

yours truly, 

calypso, the girl from the moon. 

That' s it people, if the book is yours it'll be at the bar with K.C." 

He finished and slowly my mind came back down to earth. 

It was weird to hear such pretty words spoken from a man as burly as Mike. 

But it didn't make them any less meaningful, the message was obvious. Calypso, the girl from the moon, was going through a break up or about to be going through one. 

Either way, you could tell the poet was new to this. They never really expressed their emotions, just what was to come. I guess it was up to the reader to figure out how the felt. 

It seemed like they were at peace with it the inevitable. 

They needed work, but still, nothing less of beautiful.

"Who do you think wrote it? They obviously have a deep appreciation for space" K.C.'s voice interrupted my thoughts. 

"Umm, I have no idea" I answered, turning back around to face her. 

We didn't say much after that and pretty soon I was making my way back over to Izzy. 

"You ready to go?" I asked and she nodded, standing up immediately and shoving her phone in her back pocket. 

We were half way to the door, but I just-I couldn't leave yet. 

"Hey Mike, as a matter of fact, I think I might know who it belongs to after all" I called, turning around abruptly and heading in the direction where he stood. 

♡♡♡

Maya

"Are you sure it's not here K.C.?" I asked her, again. 

"Nah, I just gave it to a friend of mine a little while ago. Said he might've known who it belonged to" she informed the three of us and I sighed. 

"Can you tell me the guy's name?" 

"You wouldn't know him, college dude and I've never seen you talk to him before"

Great, its gone.

Everything is gone.


	9. Loss and Forests?

Maya

I didn't know where to go, or what to do at this point. 

I had to face the fact that it was all gone. All my hopes, my dreams, my experiences, my fantasies, my thoughts, everything that really made me....real was gone. 

"So is there any other place we could check?" Donnie's voice pulled me out of my depressing thoughts and I sighed. 

"No, I-I'm sorry for wasting your time." 

I didn't expect to sound so fragile, so broken but I couldn't be surprised. I was more vulnerable than I had been in a long time. 

"We should be getting back now, it's almost ten" Riley told him. I tuned the rest of their conversation out. 

How exactly is a person who had just lost the one thing that held them down to the ground supposed to feel? 

Was this empty hole in my chest normal? 

Were the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes normal?  

It was just a book after all. 

The lie didn't even sound convincing in my head. 

That book, those pages. 

They held the depths of my very soul. 

Every page was another part of me the world didn't see. A part that I had refused to show the world. 

It held my insecurities.

My weaknesses. 

My happiest moments.

It held the things that I believed made life worth living. 

It held my theories on everything and anything.

It held my sketches, the drawing I had spent hours upon hours on. The things that told the most about me without saying anything at all. 

It held my photographs, moments I had captured that made the world and the people in it seem almost ethereal. 

It held my poems. 

My plans. 

My creative arts portfolio.

My lyrics. 

My music.

It held everything. 

My everything at least. 

And now it was just gone.

And it had disappeared thanks to my carelessness. I breathed deeply, placing my head on the window as we drove in utter and complete silence. 

I could hear the faint sound of water pattering down on the surface of the car. Funny how the atmosphere reflected my mood. 

Warm wetness slid down my face. I hadn't realized I was crying but it'd be perfectly justifiable at a time like this. I had just lost the one thing that connected me to my universe. My own little cosmos. 

I wanted to cry, and scream, and yell, and lose all since of self. 

But I didn't. 

Soundless tears flowed down my cheeks and my eyes fluttered closed leaving me reminisce on every part of myself that I had just gone astray. 

♡♡♡

Riley

"We can't go home."

"What?" 

I looked over at Farkle and sighed. I hadn't expected the words to leave my mouth either but they did. 

"We can't let her go back home, not like that" I told him. 

"Like what?" 

I motioned to the blonde with runny mascara and closed eyes. Farkle sighed before nodding in agreement. 

"So what do we do? It's not like we're her best friends or anything. What can we do?" 

He was right. I had no idea where I was going with this. 

But I know what cheered me up when things seem to go wrong.

"Turn left on Corn Wall" 

He shot me a confused look but continued turned anyway. 

♡♡♡

"Is she even awake?" Farkle whispered as we pulled into the parking lot of  Books-A-Million. 

"Yeah, but she's in her own little world right now, she won't notice a thing" I assured him. 

He look back worriedly but nodded anyway. 

"Let's go" 

♡♡♡

Maya

We should've been home now. 

I opened my eyes and looked out the window. The only thing I could see where trees, trees and trees and more trees. 

"Where are we?" 

"You ask too many questions you know that?" Riley answered and I rolled my eyes. 

"Look, I'm not really in the mood for any games right now. I just want to go home and lay in my bed for the rest of break so if you guys don't mind turning arou-"

"Relax  Maya, we're not leading you to your death or anything. There's just something I have to do real quick, no need to worry" Farkle said and I rolled my eyes. 

"There's something you have to do in the middle of the night at eleven forty two" I asked, peering over his shoulder to look at the time. 

"As a matter of fact, yes there is so just sit tight and don't think about it too much." 

I sighed, but sat back anyway. 

Something told me that I wasn't gonna get out of this and I didn't have the energy to put up a fight. 

So I laid my head down against the window and enjoyed the ride. 

♡♡♡

The ride was short.

Really short actually. 

But it didn't make it less nerve wrecking. Something was off between the Riley and Farkle. 

I don't know if it was the unacknowledged sexual tension but that wasn't it. 

They weren't making those weird longing looks and fidgeting every few seconds and then glancing at the other to see if they noticed. 

God, I wish they should just kiss and get it over with. 

No, they were hiding something. 

I could feel it. 

But I didn't ask questions, I didn't care enough to. Whatever those two lovebirds had going on was between the two of them and I had absolutely nothing to do with it. Nothing at all. 

"Get out, I want to show you something."

I looked over at Riley confused, she wore this giddy grin and I honestly don't think I've ever seen someone so excited. 

So I got out, I couldn't exactly say no to her. 

She raced around Farkle's car and grabbed my hand. I barely had time to register what was happening before she was dragging me deeper into the green abyss full of trees into the unknown. 

"We're here" 

She announced proudly, I smiled at her excitement before looking over my surrounding. 

Wow, this is, wow.....

"Oh my god. Riley, this is-this is amazing"


	10. Walgreen Bags and Crush Confessions

Maya

"Do you like it?" 

All I could muster was a weak nod as I stared at the incredible clearing. This was the kind of thing you only saw in movies. The kind of place that made you feel ethereal, made you feel timeless. 

My eyes examined it in awe. 

I've dreamt about places like this, place where time is nothing but a distant memory. Where anything is possible. 

Places that made you feel like you were in a Disney movie or something.

"How did you find this place?" I breathed out, looking over to the brunette who was full of secrets. 

"My grandma used to bring me here when I was little. We used to pick the violets and play tag. After she passed away this kind of became my secret place and whenever I felt lost or sad I come here." She explained. 

"Thank you for sharing this with me. It's beautiful." 

"Yeah, its one of the few untouched places left on this earth, but it's a little depressing when you have to keep it all to yourself" 

I nodded, completely understanding before turning back around to face the incredible landscape. 

I wanted to paint it. 

Or draw it. 

Capture it's beauty while I still could. 

But I couldn't. 

"Uh, we got you something."

I turned around to face Farkle who had mysteriously obtained a Walgreen's bag. 

I looked over at Riley's quizzically but she just smiled and gestured for me to take it. I hesitantly took the bag from his grasp and peered inside. 

It was a leather notebook and a big pack of colored pencils. 

It was a small gesture but, I-I didn't really know how to respond. Sure my friends had gotten me gifts before but this was different. This actually meant something. 

"Are you okay?" I ripped my eyes away from the book and to Riley who was looking at me with a worry some expression.

I hadn't realized that I'd been tearing up. 

They really had know idea how much this meant to me did they? 

I didn't say anything, instead I wrapped my arms around her.

"Thank you" I breathed. Riley slowly returned the hug, it was nice. 

A little awkward but it felt right, I had a friend. Someone I could actually depend on instead of another person to share fake smiles with. 

We pulled apart shortly after and I watched as she and Farkle made their way back to the car. I turned toward the scenery and smile.

I needed this, I needed to create my own little universe to escape to every once in awhile. 

I was never going to forget this and now I would always have proof that this little moment existed. 

I smiled as I sat down on the ground and pulled the contents out of the bag.

♡♡♡

Riley

"So are you guys friends now or something?" I turned to Farkle and shrugged. 

"Yeah, I-um-I think we are" I told him and he laugh. 

"Who would've thought, Riley Matthews and Maya Hart. Friends? It's got a nice ring to it don't you think?" he said and I nodded. 

It would take some getting used to but it felt right.

It was right. 

"Yeah I do" 

We sat in silence before he put the key back into ignition. I watched as he turned on the music and the soft sound of Daniel Caesar's voice filled the once quiet space. 

"You listen to Daniel Caesar?" I asked, looking over at him and he nodded. 

"Yeah, he's amazing" I nodded in agreement before moving my hand to the knob and turning the it up. We sat there in silence for a while, but it wasn't awkward it was comforting actually. 

His presence  put me at ease. 

"I-uh-I had a really good time with you guys tonight." I looked over at Farkle and smiled. 

"Me too, I never really thought that we would hang out. This was fun" I told him. 

"Why?" 

Confusion spread over my face at his question, he must've realized it because he went into further detail. 

"I mean, why did you think we would never hang out, not why was it fun. I was there" he laughed nervously and my smile widened. 

It was an angelic sound. 

"I don't know, I mean you and I don't really hang out in the same crowd. I'm more of a loner and you tend to hang with the untouchables y'know."

"The untouchables?" 

"The popular kids, the ones who seem above almost everything even the laws of human nature. The perfect kids, with perfect parents and perfect grades. Those who are either loved or hated by the entire student body, but their known. Everyone knows who they are. That's where you fit, I didn't think that we'd be able to ever really interact. I mean, I spent most of my time avoiding your friend group not trying to be apart of it." I explained and he nodded. 

"So that's what they call us. At least its original, different between the usual jocks and plastics y'know. I guess I never really thought I fit in with that crowd. It's just not me" he said. 

"Yeah I kind of guessed that. You just seemed different than all of that, like you wanted to be more than that." 

"I didn't think you'd paid much attention to me" 

"Who wouldn't? I mean I've kind of had a crush on you since like the seventh gra-" I froze when I realized what I had said. Where the fuck did that come from?  Where did I get that burst of idiotic confidence from huh? 

Oh my god! I'm so fucking stupid. 

"Wow, I-uh-I had no idea." 

I stayed silent and avoided eye contact. I couldn't look at him after what I just said. Who just admits stuff like that, to the one person their not supposed to say that to. God, why did he have to be so easy to talk to?!

"Fourth grade" 

"What?" I looked over to him, a little over at him, shocked at what he'd just said. His gaze had shifted to his hands.

"Fourth grade, I've-uh-I've had a crush on you since the fourth grade" he confessed. 

My heart fluttered and his pale blue eyes slowly lifted to meet my brown ones. The air around us grew ten times thicker and the only sound that could be heard was that of Daniel Caesar's melodic voice. 

It was perfect and when his lips leaned in and grazed mine, I felt like my heart was going to explode. The kiss was perfect, I was in complete and utter bliss. 

They were softer than I expected, it'd made me feel like I was floating on cloud nine. It was amazing. 

"IT'S ABOUT TIME!" 

We pulled apart, only to see Maya standing in front of the truck with a stupid smile on her face. 

"Thanks for ruining the moment!" I yelled and she laughed. 

"What are friends for?"


	11. Car Rides, Heroes and Peaches?

Maya

The car ride home was silent, but not in a bad way. From the corner of my eye I could see Farkle's hands intertwined with Riley's as he drove us home. 

Farkle and Riley huh? 

Cute. 

I turned my attention back to the car window, Sign of The Times played softly in the background as we moved closer and closer to my house. 

I was happy, sure I hadn't found my book but maybe this was a good thing. Maybe this was a new beginning. 

I had lost my boyfriend of one year but I thought it would hurt more. That I would dwell on this for weeks, spending days in my room crying and eating icing straight from the can. You know, like in the movies. 

But I didn't want to do any of that. In fact, I felt more relieved than anything. 

Our relationship had ended a long time ago, but I guess I was just now realizing it. I took a deep breath and sighed, leaning my head against the cool glass of the window. 

I would have to talk to him on Monday, maybe there was a chance we could still salvage the friendship we had before all of this went down. 

I haven't called him Ranger Rick since we started dating, I'd miss that. 

We both needed time, maybe more than a weekend. 

But I had Riley to get me through it now. It's weird that I could say I had a best friend now, someone I actually trusted. I mean I've had friends before, but I've never been able to be vulnerable with them in all the years that we've known each other. It took a matter of hours for Riley to see me break down. 

And Josh, he was.....interesting. 

Really interesting. 

"Maya why is my uncle's van at your house?" 

I snapped out of my thoughts at the sound of Riley's voice and turned towards her. What the hell was she talking about?  My gaze shifted from the back of the brunette's head to the driveway we were pulling into. 

Holy shit! 

Why was he here? 

"I dunno" I unbuckled my seat belt and quickly hopped out of the car as soon as we came to a stop. 

"Maya hold on" Farkle called from behind me. I ignored him and unlocked my front door, only to be met with a gruesome sight.

My brother staring at Josh, who was obviously more than uncomfortable being here and Michael wasn't helping the situation whatsoever. 

"What are you doing here?" 

Both boys turned to me and Josh heaved a sigh of relief. I ignored the slight flutter in my stomach when his eyes landed on mine. 

"Do you know this guy Maya?"

I didn't bother to look in my brother's direction as the question came my way. All I cared about was the fact that the most attractive boy that I had ever laid eyes on was in my house. And that his hair seemed even more disheveled than usual making even cuter. If that was even possible. 

Not to mention those eyes. God, those pretty blue eyes, one look was enough to make a girl want to melt at his feet. I pulled my eyes away from Josh and to my brother who was waiting for an answer  as to why a complete stranger, to him, had just shown up at our house unannounced. 

"Yeah I do, he's a friend." 

Michael huffed but I could hear his footsteps move further and further away from us. 

"Nice house." 

"Thanks" I tore my eyes away from him and turned  my attention to the ground. 

It stayed liked that, silent for a few seconds.

Where was Riley and Farkle when you needed them?

"I-uh I think I found something that might belong to you." 

Josh was the first to break the silence and I thanked god for it. My gaze shifted and I watched him pull something from behind his back. 

I'd recognized that embroidered rose on the cover anywhere. How beat up and old looking it seemed but still somehow managed to be aesthetically pleasing. The gold pen attached to side with pretty words engraved in it.  

It was all there. 

The Journal.

The one thing that held all of me, my darkest thoughts, my most hidden secrets, my nostalgic dreams, everything that made me feel......real. 

All  in the hands of an unexpected hero I didn't suspect. 

"Where'd you find this?" I  asked, gingerly taken my most prized possession from Josh's hands.

"Uh, Smackle and I stopped for coffee to help her sober up and they announced it. You've been looking for a journal all night so I assumed it might belong to you. If not, then this is probably really awkward." He laughed nervously, looking towards the ground and I couldn't help but smile. 

He was cute.

Just as soon as relief flooded through me, fear took its place. 

"Did you read it? Please tell me you didn't read it!" 

"No of course not! No! The guy at the coffee place read a poem out of it. Nothing revealing but I don't know......it just reminded me of you I guess." 

"Oh" 

It was silent again after that and the awkwardness was killing me. Of course he didn't read it, he'd not the kind of person. He's good, at least I think he is. I was wrong to assume th-wait did he say it reminded him of me. 

"Penny for your thoughts." 

I shook my head, looking back up to face him. He was a good person. 

"I was just-what about it made you think of me?" 

"It was just, the wording was beautiful. And you're...." 

His eyes never left  mine as the words never left his mouth. He thought I was beautiful. Josh Matthews, Riley's incredibly attractive cousin who was in college, thought she was beautiful.

"I-uh-I should get Smackle home, I'll see you around." 

I watched as he brushed past me, and moved towards the front door. Butterflies filled my stomach at the contact but I ignored it. 

Josh intrigued me, but I wasn't ready. 

Not this soon.

"Hey, what was that about?" Riley's  voice interrupted my thoughts and I turned around to face her. 

Josh was gone, but that was okay. 

I had a feeling it wouldn't be the last time I saw him. 

"He found my journal" I told her, showing the book to her. 

"Wow! That's amazing, I guess you didn't really need the one we bought for you huh?" 

I looked down at the book in front of me, pages and pages of the things that only I knew. 

It'd be full soon. 

"Actually, I'm on the last few pages of this one. This one came just in time." I said holding up the plastic bag and Riley smiled. 

"Cool."

"Hey, so what took you so long?" 

Riley blushed and my eyes widened. Two kisses in one day huh? I've never been more proud. 

"A lady never kisses and tells." 

I rolled my eyes just as she started to walk towards the kitchen. 

Uh uh, she was not getting away that easy. 

"Riley! You have to tell me everything, that's what friends do!" I called, chasing after her. 

"We're not that close yet peaches." 

Peaches? Interesting. 

I kind of like it.


	12. Girl Meets The End

{2 Years Later}

Riley

"You guys disgust me, you know that?" I laughed, pulling away from Farkle, turning to face my best friend. We were in central park, we all met up here every other Saturday. It had become our own little tradition. 

"It's not my fault Josh hasn't asked you out yet." 

"Shut up, I literally turned eighteen two weeks ago. We don't want to rush into things just because I'm legal." 

I rolled my eyes at the excuse, they've been flirting and talking to each other for the past two years. Rushing wasn't even in their vocabulary, if it was he would've asked her out two years ago.

"Whatever you say and besides, it's not like we're as bad Lucas and Smackle" I said gesturing over to the two who were currently making out underneath an oak tree a few feet away. She was supposed to be helping him study for his calculus final but they've been in that position for the past five minutes. 

But I couldn't blame them, they did just get together a month ago and the honeymoon stage hadn't quite worn off yet. 

After the journal chase Smackle showed up at Maya's the next day with a basket full of muffins and a long two page apology about what she'd done in her drunken state. 

Maya forgave her halfway through it and assured her that the relationship had ended long before she kissed him. Smackle was just the push that set off inevitable events. 

After that, a friendship bloomed between the two. Lucas and Smackle, well it took a year and a half for them together. Mainly because Isadora didn't want to be the friend who dated their best friend's ex. Eventually she asked for Maya's permission and she said yes, well she actually said, "sure,  was getting tired of watching you eye fuck each other anyway." 

And wallah, Lucadora was born. 

"Yeah I guess your right, god when will they come up for air?" 

Farkle and I laughed at the question, tearing our eyes away from the two. 

"Were we ever that bad?" He asked and I shook my head no.

"I don't think we were ever as intense as those two." 

He leaned in, pressing his lips to mine and I smiled against them. I could kiss these lips every day for the rest of my life. 

"Yah! More couples to join us, must be my lucky day." The sarcasm in Maya's voice was not missed. 

I sighed pulling away from Farkle and looked over to see Zay and Sage making their way over. The longest lasting couple in our grade. 

"Wassup butter cup" Sage said as she and her boyfriend plopped down next to Farkle and I. 

Over the past two years I had finally found friends that I could count on, friends that I never thought I could have. 

My life wouldn't be complete without these people. 

We talked and joked around for the entire afternoon, and eventually Lucas and Smackle joined in on the conversation.

I was happy, truly happy for the first time in a long time. I never wanted this to end. 

My gaze flitted over to Maya, who looked....lonelier than usual. Where was Josh? 

♡♡♡

Maya 

"Are you sure you don't want a ride? The city gets pretty dangerous at nigh-" 

"Farkle, I'm fine. Riley's waiting for you in the car, you should go." I told him and he looked over at the brunette before turning back around to face. Uncertainty written all over his face. 

I sighed before shoving him in his girlfriend's direction. He laughed lightly before finally turning around and making his way towards the love of his life. 

Before he could even think about coming back and talking me out of my decision I was off. 

The streetlamps were just starting to come on, and more and more people began to flood the streets. New York lived up to its name, a city that never truly sleeps. 

My eyes wandered over the people as I walked past them, kids with their parents, friends going out together and then there were couples. 

Riding on each others backs, laughing together, showing affection. God, I hadn't had a boyfriend in two years and the only guy I was interested in hadn't even asked me out yet. 

What the fuck was wrong with me? 

Wait-no, what the fuck was wrong with him?

We have been flirting and talking for the past two years and he hasn't even made a move. What was his problem huh? 

I thought we were on the same page, I thought he liked me the way I liked him.  

At least that's what I was lead to believe. 

I mean what else was I suppose to think. We talked every day, I can't tell you how many times I've fallen in sleep in classes due to conversations we had the night before. 

He knew me, more than anyone else, the only exception might've been Riley, but that was a stretch. When he went off to college, I visited him almost every weekend and we'd sit in  the dorms and talk all night. 

He was one of my best friends, and I wanted him to be more. 

So what the fuck was his problem? 

I hadn't even realized I was at his apartment until I came to a stop. Shit, I'd helped him move into it this summer, my last fucking summer I would spend in high school and I spent the majority of it with him. 

Josh. Fucking. Matthews. 

I was angry. We had this weird sort of relationship going on for the past two years and now that I'm legal he didn't even have the decency to ask me out. 

Well, fuck that. 

I marched up the steps of the apartment complex, entering the front door and stomping my way up two more flights until I reached his apartment. I banged hard, and I didn't stop, not until his roommate, Travis opened the door. 

"Maya? What are you doing h-" 

I shoved him out of the way and marched my way to Josh's room. 

He really had some fucking nerve. 

I didn't even bother knocking as I swung the door wide open and said the first thing that came to mind. 

"Why haven't you asked me out yet?!' 

I looked over to see Josh sitting in his desk with a textbook open and eyes wide. 

"Maya? What are you doing here?" 

"Just answer the question okay! Because I like you Josh and I feel like the biggest idiot right now because we've been doing this weird game thing for the past two years where we're in a relationship but we're not and I'm tired of it! I like you, a lot an-" 

"Maya, I like you too." 

"Well it doesn't feel like it!" 

He sighed, standing up from his chair and walking over to me. 

"It's not that simple Maya." 

"Why?" 

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and I crossed my arms. He wasn't making sense and I was tired of dancing around the idea of us being together without actually being together. 

"I've never been in a serious relationship, I don't wanna fuck this up." He gestured between the two of us and I couldn't help the small smile that spread across my lips. He was nervous. 

I took a step forward and laced his unoccupied hand with mine. 

"Me neither, but there's no one I want to try it out with more than you." 

"What about Lucas? That was serious." He said, blue eyes piercing mine. 

"Lucas was different. Everyone expected us to be together and so we were. It was convenient, it wasn't what either of us desired. The difference between you and Lucas is that I actually want to be with you, I don't feel like I have to be. I want you Josh, more than I've wanted anything in life befo-" 

He lips pressed softly against mine before I could finish my statement. Butterflies erupted throughout me at the action and I smiled into him. 

This was amazing. 

Everything I thought it could be and more.

 It was more because it was real, he was real. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck and he snaked  his around my waist, pulling me even closer to him. 

"Well, I'm gonna go." 

We pulled apart at the sound of Travis's voice, I turned my head to see him standing awkwardly by the door before grabbing his jacket and hurriedly walking out. 

"He heard all of that huh?" 

I nodded, bursting out in laughter. 

Josh smiled down at me, before gently grabbing my face and reconnecting his lips to mine. 

I melted into him, he tasted like honey and mint. He was perfect. 

And to think, all of this was made possible by a book I didn't even use anymore. 

The stupid fucking journal that I thought defined me. 

It lead me to true friends, and to the most amazing man I'd ever known. 

I fucking love that journal.


End file.
